A Shakira Shitstorm in Beirut

Contributed by Ali Abbas.

Anyone who has tuned in to one of Lebanon’s several Pop radio stations in the past two months is well aware that Shakira will soon be performing for a Lebanese audience.

The renowned Latina, sometimes Lebanese, pop star has been drumming up a promotional frenzy across Beirut’s airwaves. Her campaign, advertized completely in English, promises Lebanon “a global hit superstar in one unforgettable concert, one woman with Lebanese in her bloodstream that has never played before to a Lebanese crowd… until now!!”

What many Lebanese do not know is that this is no ordinary concert. Here is a list of what expectations Shakira will defy with her Lebanon performance, no matter how cliche and ingrained in her “brand” they may seem:

She will miraculously not exploit the national origins of her father, a man born in New York and raised in Columbia, in order to make an economic gain from the Lebanese people.

She will not appropriate Lebanese identity to authenticate a worldly or transnational image.

She will not perform any songs with a terrible Arabic hook or bridge to avoid looking foolish in front of an audience that can recognize, translate and critique the lyrical technique of her work.

She will not Belly Dance as some might misunderstand her use of the craft, a practice that demands that the body and mind collide into a sensational performance of movement and control, as an objectifying sexualization of a socially respected Lebanese custom.

She will not perform “Waka Waka” as a ballad commemorating the 2010 FIFA World Cup, but as the African soldier song from which “Waka Waka” was inspired- an anthem she will dedicate to the brave people who are demonstrating for dignity and justice across the Middle East.

She will not forget to explain why she has never bothered to perform in Lebanon before even though she has always publicized a “pride” in her Lebanese identity.

She will not cater to the thousands of Lebanese-American tourists who are more than willing to mutilate the actual lived experiences of everyday Lebanese citizens into a modern sexualized Orientalist fantasy.

She will not forget to support development projects in Lebanon using the money made from the $300 tickets- admissions equal to many Lebanese workers’ monthly wages.

She will not idealize Lebanon as a “Westernized” country of beauty and mystery, but as a country outside of a globalized binary that is in need of severe change in leadership and political structuring.

She will not identify as Lebanese citing evidence of the “Lebanese in her bloodstream,” because she believes the language used by her PR firm is far too parallel to the language of the Lebanese politicians who have maintained an oppressive familial control of the country’s direction.

Most importantly, she will not idolize blood lineage or misconstrue privileged racial ambiguity for global pluralism.

Shakira will not do any of the above.