The Palestinian Anthem Fiasco

By Hanitizer

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In a bold, unprecedented and perhaps controversial move, the Palestinian government in Gaza issued a statement early this morning declaring, “We’re Not Gonna Take It” by Twisted Sister as the national anthem for Palestine. The Twisted Sister hit will replace the already existing “Biladi” anthem. “We wanted a song that speaks of about Palestinian aspirations,” says Abu Zuhri, senior spokesperson for the Gaza government. He further added: “This song is the reenactment of the deteriorating humanitarian situation in Gaza.”

The shock swept through the West Bank that same day and prompted the Palestinian government in Ramallah to issue a statement about the odd choice of melodies. “Just like a twisted sister, the government in Gaza insists on doing all the wrong things,” read the statement issued as a reaction to the anthem change. Further mocking the song choice, the statement insisted: “perhaps another choice of songs like ‘I Want to Break Free‘ by Queen would have been appropriate, since it is a more honest portrayal of what the government in Gaza has been doing since June 2007.”

Later that night, the Egyptian government was called in to mediate and to broker an agreement on this matter. “We have proposed a new song that might please both parties,” chief negotiator Suilman Al-Magdi said. “Palestinians are known to be world-class rock throwers, so we proposed ‘We will Rock You‘ also by Queen.”

Describing the reactions to their choice of songs as “preposterous,” the Gaza government issued a follow-up statement early the next morning which further clarified the underlying reasons for their song choice. “The mere suggestion,” it stated, “that we should choose a song by Queen is an insult to the Palestinian cause. It was the Queen government that issued the Balfour Declaration. Clearly this is just another Egyptian idea that bites the dust.” Abu Zuhri further went and called for “the bickering to end. The Palestinian people have spoken and Twisted Sister it is.”

Clearly, the Gazans are No Doubt, Trapped In a Box.

Neither Queen nor Twisted Sister were available for comment.